Never-ending to-do lists are something that can happen to all of us. I used to wake up in the morning and lay one out for the day, but then I started to notice something and that something was frustration. I felt bad and/or mad at the end of the day when things were left undone on the list and couldn’t acknowledge the things I got done instead of those that were on my list at 0 dark thirty in the morning. 

 

The to-do list was almost never complete because life happens. 

 

I’d be in the middle of flow when:

  • The school called to tell me about a sick child.
  • The neighbor stopped by to tell me about the bear in our backyard
  • My husband thought it’d be nice to have a spontaneous day date (and it was nice)
  • I’d have to put out a fire in my business of a sales page not working properly
  • Or any of a million other things. 

 

Truthfully, the to-do list was never ending because it never actually got completed. I could put as few as 3 things on it and still come to the end of the day with what I felt like was very little to show for it, which made my self-care time feel like it was time I could’ve been using to complete it.

 

My self-care time started to consist of me feeling guilty about what I couldn’t get done OR me feeling anxious about what I was sitting there coming up with to add to my to-do list. It was perpetual

 

So this meant that my self-care time was never actually relaxing or refreshing AND that should be the point of your self-care time. 

 

How did I begin to combat this?

1. I stopped having a to-do list

I know that sounds ridiculous, but I did. I gave it up cold turkey. Now I have 90-day goals and everything I do in a 2-week sprint goes toward those goals. You can see an example of a 2-week sprint below.

2. I have a daily stand-up with my family

 

This is where we go over exactly what we have on our plate for the day. It’s where we list our meetings, talk about the meal plan for the evening, AND we discuss our daily self-care plans. For me, my daily self-care plans often include working out or going for a walk outdoors. It also sometimes includes a hot bath.

 

If you need more information on how to host a daily stand-up with your family you can get that here:

3. I put anything that isn’t on this sprint on the backlog, which we reprioritize regularly

 

The backlog is where you keep the list of household projects that you want to do in the future. For us right now that includes: hang pot rack, re-do entryway, build fire pit, and re-do the bathroom.

These things are lower on the priority list than our current sprint items and they move up and down as we find availability in need, time, or budget.

 

And managing self-care and avoiding parenting burnout is the main reason we went full Agile. 

 

What does my self-care time look like now?

 

It is relaxing and replenishes my soul. It’s exactly what I need it to be.